Man, I wish you saw all my
weak moments
I told myself that these just weak emotions
Most the time I just Tweet emojis."
- Comfortable
What do our weak moments say about us? How many of us want to reach out to others during those moments, but never do? Is it because society says that something is wrong with us if we admit vulnerability? Is God ashamed of us in those times?
The answer to that last question is 'No'. Why would God be ashamed...why should we be ashamed? Hiding behind that shame is saying that by being human we have done something wrong. Remember God makes no mistakes. If that is true then there is no way that we are faulty in the human condition.
Do not take that as me saying that we are able to anything we desire without consequence. What it means is that He understands that we are going to have our issues. It is why He looks at the heart. He knows that times of weakness does not mean we are not striving for better things.
He says to come to Him and let Him be our strength. The strength in our weakness.
If the Creator wants us to draw close to Him all the time, especially when we are in a spot where we feel like we can't move, then why shouldn't we be able to share those times with our brothers and sisters as well? Why should we be able to consider ourselves any better than anyone else?
We can't be seen as imperfect, is that it? As Gray says it's a "brave face with a weak motive."
We pretend and pull the wool up because we can't allow the truth to breathe. We do it not only for ourselves, but for others as well. Remember in one of my earlier writings when I said that this community has made me scared because I knew that there would come a time when I would have to be transparent? I fear that the time has quickly found me.
"I told myself that these just weak emotions."
There is nothing about human emotions that are weak. Some of them may not always make sense to us, but they each fulfill a purpose. If we are a community that is meant to build each other and help each other grow in this difficult life then we must be able to step out from behind our brave faces and share with others these weak moments.
I struggle getting angry. I struggle with the fact that I continue to struggle with that anger. (This is me attempting to discard weak motives) It is frustrating feeling like no matter how I try to approach it, this weakness will find a way to get the best of me. It is frustrating feeling like no one is going to understand...
...It is frustrating knowing that the One who matters most fully understands.
My children may not get it no matter how much I want them too. My wife may not want to deal with it. My family may think it best to just ignore it. My friends may only get glimpses. I see it clearly.
I try to work on my weakness. Sometimes though maybe "I just Tweet emojis." I do not have the answer.
The best I can do is be honest and hope. Hope that by sharing the part of me that I am most ashamed of someone will understand. Someone will see that it is not who I want to be. Maybe someone will feel safe to open up to me as well.
"Man, I wish you saw all my weak moments." - I guess the first step is sharing them...
#LvLUp
When Taelor isn't honing his craft, he is spending time with his loving wife of 6 years and their son Levi. While rap is at the forefront of his life, Taelor still has time in his life for other interests such as, fashion, live jazz, Broadway musicals and theater performances, soul music, college football, NFL, and NBA basketball. Currently Taelor serves as one of the pastors at Veritas Community Church, ministering to a diverse community in Columbus Ohio.
