I worry. I try not to. I have made progress, but anxiety is not something you just control. It will hit you at times that will make you feel stupid. You will feel like there is something terribly wrong with you. It's a feeling in your chest that is not painful, but makes everything you do uncomfortable.
Jesus says not to worry, that He cares for even the birds of the field and cares more so for us. Like everything in the Christian walk I do my best to listen to what He says. I try to think about lovely things, but for me to be honest it does not always work. It's a feeling like something is wrong, but you haven't been made aware of it yet. The thing that makes it worse is we are made to believe that these feelings are borderline sinful. For those in the same situation...they are not.
God knows and understands this feeling. He gets the fragile state of the human condition and why some of us bear this struggle. Others may not understand, but He does. What seems awkward and unnatural to some is far from it. It is okay!
We don't stop trying. We face it head on. We might have a tendency to think about worst case scenarios, but we also care. We truly care for others and their struggles because we know how hard it can be at times. We know how it is to feel alone.
The biggest thing that we try to figure out is what to do when it hits.
For me talking to my wife helps. It does not have to be about anything in particular. Just talking to her helps. If we are together and the feeling starts creeping up holding her hand helps keep it at bay. I don't want this to be her burden, but I am so thankful that she understands. I used to fear that this would make her feel like I had major issues and push her away from me, but thank God she is supportive. If I am at work or out somewhere a phone call or text conversation with her can be calming.
What is it for you? Find that thing and don't feel ashamed about any of it! This is you not being a victim and living a life God intends. A major problem within the church is the prosperity theory. God wants the best for you, but it is up to you to get there. He will support if you do your part.
Because of sin though none of us get a free ride in this world. For us with anxiety it is our cross. We take it up everyday and carry it. Maybe we envy the birds who have no need for worry, but our reward will be much greater.
Don't be ashamed. I know I have said that already, but there are some things worth repeating. I am still working on this, but being open about this type of thing can be good. Both for you and for others. You never know what someone is battling and your struggle can be inspiring. It can connect you with another person and present an opportunity to impact their life. Represent Him well...flaws and all.
Jesus has scars and they are much more than reminders of past physical pain. They are symbols of love. Make your blemishes represent something much more than insignificant flaws. Turn them into beacons of hope. It is the ones who embrace the struggle and not let it define them that become inspirations. I want to inspire. My anxiety tells me I won't, but God tells me He has a use for me...and for you. Even us broken humans.
Broken doesn't mean unfixable.
If you haven't heard it lately let me say it. I love you. You are cared for and have a purpose. I am sorry for the times you have been let down. You are not alone.
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